so hurry down the chimney tonight...

As I sit and watch my days go by, as I wait for something, anything to happen, I cant help admit that I am a little scared of the winter hollydays that are to come.

I have indeed forgotten how it feels like to be alone, to live for yourself. When you give yourself away and exist as a pair for so many years, the moments you get with yourself again are of constant exploring.

This Christmas is going to be the total opposite of the past ones. i feel restless and at times sad, angry and lost. at the same time i feel i am on the right path and that nothing comes easy.

I am tired and running in circles. I feel I am about to be defeated and i dont even know know why. i am always running yet always looking for more without any ray or glimpse of light at the end on the tunnel.

i am just so tired. tired of the same robots, tired of the same streets, tired of the same problems, the same bloody problems.

all i want is hope and peace. all i want for this xmass is to actually find some sort of stability on at least one plan of life cuz i dont know how much longer i can last.

so santa baby, drop ur bag of hope down my chimney on xmass.

Pick apart

The pieces of your heart

And let me peer inside

Let me in

Where only your thoughts have been

Let me occupy your mind

As you do mineYou have lost

(Too much love)

To fear, doubt and distrust

(It’s not enough)

You just threw away the key

(To your heart)

You don’t get burned

(’Cause nothing gets through)

It makes it easier

(Easier on you)

But that much more difficult for meTo make you see…

Love ain’t fair

So there you are

My love

Your heart’s a mess

You won’t admit to it

It makes no sense

But I’m desperate to connect

And you, you can’t live like this

Your heart’s a mess

You won’t admit to it

It makes no sense

But I’m desperate to connect

And you, you can’t live like this

Your heart’s a mess

You won’t admit to it

It makes no sense

But I’m desperate to connect

And you, you can’t live like this

Love ain’t safe

You won’t get hurt if you stay chaste

So you can wait

But I don’t wanna waste my love....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_CM5-gel6o

Is All That Turkey and Stuffing a Celebration of Genocide?

By Laura Elliff, Vice President, Native American Student Association

Thanksgiving is a holiday where families gather to share stories, football games are watched on television and a big feast is served. It is also the time of the month when people talk about Native Americans. But does one ever wonder why we celebrate this national holiday? Why does everyone give thanks?
History is never simple. The standard history of Thanksgiving tells us that the “Pilgrims and Indians” feasted for three days, right? Most Americans believe that there was some magnificent bountiful harvest. In the Thanksgiving story, are the “Indians” even acknowledged by a tribe? No, because everyone assumes “Indians” are the same. So, who were these Indians in 1621?
In 1620, Pilgrims arrived on the Mayflower naming the land Plymouth Rock. One fact that is always hidden is that the village was already named Patuxet and the Wampanoag Indians lived there for thousands of years. To many Americans, Plymouth Rock is a symbol. Sad but true many people assume, “It is the rock on which our nation began.” In 1621, Pilgrims did have a feast but it was not repeated years thereafter. So, it wasn’t the beginning of a Thanksgiving tradition nor did Pilgrims call it a Thanksgiving feast. Pilgrims perceived Indians in relation to the Devil and the only reason why they were invited to that feast was for the purpose of negotiating a treaty that would secure the lands for the Pilgrims. The reason why we have so many myths about Thanksgiving is that it is an invented tradition. It is based more on fiction than fact.

So, what truth ought to be taught? In 1637, the official Thanksgiving holiday we know today came into existence. (Some people argue it formally came into existence during the Civil War, in 1863, when President Lincoln proclaimed it, which also was the same year he had 38 Sioux hung on Christmas Eve.) William Newell, a Penobscot Indian and former chair of the anthropology department of the University of Connecticut, claims that the first Thanksgiving was not “a festive gathering of Indians and Pilgrims, but rather a celebration of the massacre of 700 Pequot men, women and children.” In 1637, the Pequot tribe of Connecticut gathered for the annual Green Corn Dance ceremony. Mercenaries of the English and Dutch attacked and surrounded the village; burning down everything and shooting whomever try to escape. The next day, Newell notes, the Governor of Massachusetts Bay Colony declared: “A day of Thanksgiving, thanking God that they had eliminated over 700 men, women and children.” It was signed into law that, “This day forth shall be a day of celebration and thanksgiving for subduing the Pequots.” Most Americans believe Thanksgiving was this wonderful dinner and harvest celebration. The truth is the “Thanksgiving dinner” was invented both to instill a false pride in Americans and to cover up the massacre.
Was Thanksgiving really a massacre of 700 “Indians”? The present Thanksgiving may be a mixture of the 1621 three-day feast and the “Thanksgiving” proclaimed after the 1637 Pequot massacre. So next time you see the annual “Pilgrim and Indian display” in a shopping window or history about other massacres of Native Americans, think of the hurt and disrespect Native Americans feel. Thanksgiving is observed as a day of sorrow rather than a celebration. This year at Thanksgiving dinner, ponder why you are giving thanks.
William Bradford, in his famous History of the Plymouth Plantation, celebrated the Pequot massacre:
“Those that scraped the fire were slaine with the sword; some hewed to peeces, others rune throw with their rapiers, so as they were quickly dispatchte, and very few escapted. It was conceived they thus destroyed about 400 at this time. It was a fearful sight to see them thus frying in the fyer, and the streams of blood quenching the same, and horrible was the stincke and sente there of, but the victory seemed a sweete sacrifice, and they gave the prayers thereof to God, who had wrought so wonderfully for them, thus to inclose their enemise in their hands, and give them so speedy a victory over so proud and insulting an enimie.”
The Pequot massacre came after the colonists, angry at the murder of an English trader suspected by the Pequots of kidnapping children, sought revenge. rather than fighting the dangerous Pequot warriors, John Mason and John Underhill led a group of colonists and Native allies to the Indian fort in Mystic, and killed the old men, women, and children who were there. Those who escaped were later hunted down. The Pequot tribe numbered 8,000 when the Pilgrims arrived, but disease had brought their numbers down to 1,500 by 1637. The Pequot “War” killed all but a handful of remaining members of the tribe.
Proud of their accomplishments, Underhill wrote a book (above) depicted the burning of the village, and even made an illustration (below) showing how they surrounded the village to kill all within it.
- John K. Wilson

Progresam si uitam sa fim fericiti - pentru ca unora le place nefericirea

In ultima vreme incerc sa iau lucrurile mai usurel. sa traiesc mai mult pentru mine si pentru cei apropiati mie. pamantul nu se va opri daca eu nu voi mai face cutare lucru sau cutare lucru. am ajus la 23 de ani sa ma simt atat de obosita si de sictirita incat sunt surprinsa ca mai traiesc. ma rog, asta pana acum ceva vreme. vreau sa ma opresc din robotism, sa il las pe ultimul plan, si sa investesc mai mult in mine, individual. aka, sa citesc, sa alerg, sa fac sport, sa zambesc, sa dansez... sa ma detasez de mizeria creata de altii in jurul meu, de toata drama asta emotionala artificiala. a se intelege clar diferenta dintre nenorocirile reale ce se intampla in jur, fata de care nu am sa pot ramane in veci indiferenta, si cele pe care unii le creeaza, le amima, si de care se agata cu incapatanare.

fuga, stress, alergatura. pentru ce? agitatie, nebunie. si nu pentru mine. majoritatea nebuniei se limita la ceea ce "trebuia" sa fac eu pt cutare sau cutare, sau, ma rog ceea ce credeam eu ca "trebuie".

am trait intr-un balon de plastic in care eu eram dedicata 100% altora. problemele tuturor erau mai importante decat ale mele.

ei bine, lucrurile s-au schimbat. Odata cu varsta, odata cu experienta, odata cu clipele frumoase si cu cele neplacute prin care am fost nevoita sa trec, ma schimb si devin alta persoana.

devin mai rece.

cei care nu fac altceva decat sa se planga si sa astepte sa le pice de la altul sau din senin imi provoaca mila. imi provoaca sila ipocrizia. falsitatea. prostia.

se spune ca singura dovada ca nu ti-ai indeplinit scopul pe acest pamant este faptul ca traiesti. dar cati dintre noi stim ce inseamna a trai? ai senzatia ca ceea ce e frumos vine moca? pica? tot ce este frumos si real in viata aceasta vine dupa munca si dorinta. si cei care au cateva principii ramase stiu foarte bine ca treaba cu dupa fapta, si rasplata se aplica.

a sta cu curul jos si a te plange constant, dar de nu a avea curajul sa te ridici in picioare si sa faci ceva, denota fapul ca nu te cunosti nici macar 0.1%, nu vrei sa faci asta, si ca de fapt esti 100% fericit in nefericirea ta. te complaci si cerseti mila. atata timp cat pe lumea asta exista copii care ar da ORICE sa se poata afirma, sa poata studia, sa poata merge la scoala, dar nu pot din cauza saraciei, foametei, razboiului, bolilor, NU ai nici un feld e scuza in fata mea.

tipologia asta de "of of ce grea e viata cu curul afundat in fotoliu" imi creaza cel mai acut dispret.

ca si cei care sunt sugative. femei si barbati deopotriva. traiti pt materialism: toale, masini telefoane. dar nu sunteti instare sa munciti pt ele, sa realizati in viata si sa obtineti ceea ce va doriti.

am observat ca tendinta generala este de a fi fericit in nefericire si de a persevera in ea. Si va intreb: de ce? nu este lumea asta atat de mare? va tine cineva legati cu lanturile de pamantul de sub voi? este atat de greu sa vrei sa schimbi ceva legat de viata pe care o duci si EVENTUAL s-o si faci? este atat de simplu sa dai din gura si sa comentezi, cand de fapt tu NU faci nimic. astepti sa vina cineva sa te ia de manuta sa iti arate drumul? ei bine, nu o sa se intample. ai sa fii mereu un nefericit care traieste zilnic prin vise pe care nu le va urma niciodata.

ei bine, eu am curajul sa pasesc in afara patratelului meu. Eu visez colorat si mult, insa stiu ca va fi greu sa imi ating visul. visul meu se schimba mereu, putin cate putin, dar stiu ca sunt pe drumul cel bun. Stiu ca seara pun capul pe perna linistita, si stiu ca am curajul sa fiu altfel, sa fiu eu. sunt eu, port culori si nu mai fac concesii. dupa ani de zile in care m-am pus deoparte, acum n-o mai fac. pentru nimeni.

si am sa imi urmez visul, fara teama. si am sa lupt pentru ca nothing comes easy. and i wont settle for less.

Asa ca lasa dracului bullshitul. Nu te mai plange si fa ceva pentru tine. O viata ai. timpul trece. ca doar nu degeaba "youth is wasted on the young".

viseaza. zambeste. gandeste. ajuta. priveste. simte. progreseaza. paseste inainte.