so hurry down the chimney tonight...

As I sit and watch my days go by, as I wait for something, anything to happen, I cant help admit that I am a little scared of the winter hollydays that are to come.

I have indeed forgotten how it feels like to be alone, to live for yourself. When you give yourself away and exist as a pair for so many years, the moments you get with yourself again are of constant exploring.

This Christmas is going to be the total opposite of the past ones. i feel restless and at times sad, angry and lost. at the same time i feel i am on the right path and that nothing comes easy.

I am tired and running in circles. I feel I am about to be defeated and i dont even know know why. i am always running yet always looking for more without any ray or glimpse of light at the end on the tunnel.

i am just so tired. tired of the same robots, tired of the same streets, tired of the same problems, the same bloody problems.

all i want is hope and peace. all i want for this xmass is to actually find some sort of stability on at least one plan of life cuz i dont know how much longer i can last.

so santa baby, drop ur bag of hope down my chimney on xmass.

Pick apart

The pieces of your heart

And let me peer inside

Let me in

Where only your thoughts have been

Let me occupy your mind

As you do mineYou have lost

(Too much love)

To fear, doubt and distrust

(It’s not enough)

You just threw away the key

(To your heart)

You don’t get burned

(’Cause nothing gets through)

It makes it easier

(Easier on you)

But that much more difficult for meTo make you see…

Love ain’t fair

So there you are

My love

Your heart’s a mess

You won’t admit to it

It makes no sense

But I’m desperate to connect

And you, you can’t live like this

Your heart’s a mess

You won’t admit to it

It makes no sense

But I’m desperate to connect

And you, you can’t live like this

Your heart’s a mess

You won’t admit to it

It makes no sense

But I’m desperate to connect

And you, you can’t live like this

Love ain’t safe

You won’t get hurt if you stay chaste

So you can wait

But I don’t wanna waste my love....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_CM5-gel6o