Frig.... si atat

E toamna... e toamna in mine si in tine, iar peste sufletele noastre aluneca usor ceata ei.
Sufletele sunt confuze, peste ele cad lacrimi smulse din inima norilor. Nu mai vad lumina si nu mai aud rasete in parcuri. ma izbesc de oameni grabiti care nu stiu sa se mai opreasca si sa traiasca. can merg pe strada alerg, cand conduc alerg, ma grabesc mereu undeva. Ce este mai trist este ca fara el parca nu mai am nici un rost si nimic din ceea ce-mi alina sufletul nu mai este. ma simt ca un copil trist ce a pierdut tot, si timpul se scurge din ce in ce mai greu in aceste 12 zile ramase pana ma urc in avion si ajung la el.
ma gandesc uneori la mom in care s-ar putea intampla ceva intre noi si nu am mai fi impreuna... deloc... ce as face atunci? daca eu nu mai simt nimik in 2 saptamani in care el este in asia, urmand sa ajung si eu acolo, ce s-ar intampla daca nu am mai fi?
nu e vorba de faptul ca nu mai traiesc sau nu mai socializez, insa parca totul e fad... nimic din ce era "fun" nu mai pare la fel...
m-am prlictisit de scris si orikum aberez degeaba...\
e frig... si atat
as da orice sa inchid ochii si timp sa treaca perecum vantul asta rece

The Beaver Sauve Story

 Let me tell you  the Beaver story. It's not my story unfortunately, but i'm glad to have been a small part of it.

A friend of my mother's from Vienna visted us last weekend. I thought it would be totally boring but gladly i was mistaken. But i'm not gonna waste space here by writing about the other boring events. I was very surprised

 to see that she was carrying a beaver. "A beaver?"i thought, "why the fuck would a fully grown woman with no kids be carrying around in an unknown country a toy beaver?".  Beaver Sauve (for that was his/its name) was beavernapped from mike, a coworker of hers in Vienna.  the intersting thing is that since  2 months ago, since he went missing, Beaver has been writing to Mike, he has been sending emails from all over Europe. 

Here is the first email that he send to his owner, so that you can get a clue: 

"Mike,                                          

 

What did you think? You freed me from Ikea and what has it been since then? I’lltell ya buddy boy…Sitting on your safe, staring at your sorry ass and praying for something to happen. Yupp the big Zippo, nada, nothing, nichts, niet. You think this is an alternative for me? All you do here is fart around or pretend to work, then it’s your pubs, your movies, then your children and your wife. God…when you did show me some attention you dressed me as a clown (it wasn’t even you but you had no problem in taking someone else’s credit) pretending I had gone native. Ha ha ha.Very funny. “Look everybody, come see the funny dressed up beaver”….very imaginative….bravo. Looooooser. Thank God the guys at the lodge can’t see me now. Jerk.

 For God sakes I’m a stuffed beaver who has feelings too.

Since I’m done watching “The Mike Sauve scratching his ass show” I decided to go out on my own to see what’s out there. I crossed the bridge, sat on the roof and kicked off the moss. Actually, I found a lawn chair on a beach and ordered a beer.. Gösser man, why didn’t you  tell me about this brown nectar of the gods eh? You greedy Scotsman. In between making a small dam in the canal, drinking a few beers and cleaning my pelt I had time for a bit of soul searching. There has to be more to life than being Mike Sauves pet beaver. This city rocks and the girls in their summer clothes….an almost non-existing camisole, tight shorts, sunbathing their bellybuttons and the rest under the Viennese heat. Their sweat, aaaahhh.

 Us semi-aquatic rodents have needs you know.     

 I hear you told everybody I’m a female, eh?! That’s how well you know me. Next time check under the fur dumb ass. You can tell we spend a lot of time together. We’re actually rival predators.

 

So,what’s next? Anything is possible! The world is my Lodge. Make me a deal and I’ll think about staying. It better be appealing because as I’m strolling along the Danube canal I’m starting to get the travelling itch. Sometimes you just have to scratch that itch…and then it’s ciao Chico - I am out of here to explore the world.   

 

Be quick with your response, you have exhausted most of my patience.

 

Cheers

Beaver (would it have killed you to give me a name!!)

 

Oh and by the way, don’t worry about my financial situation. I have the number of your credit card and as you can see, access to the internet." 

So, after travelling all around Austria, The Czech Republic, he finally arrived in Romania, where he had lots of fun, the visited the whole city, drank a lot of beer and had plenty to eat, and, of course, had lots and lots of women. Of, i may have forgotten to specify that Beaver is a womaniser and also very horny. I will also post some photos of Beaver leavingVienna, pics of him on the plane and some of the Beaver during his trip here.I promise that as long as he will cc his emails to Mike, his owner,to me, i will post them here (containing the pics as well).Yo go, Beaver! Take over the world. I wonder where he's at now... i thought i heard him say something about France :))

And now, lets have a look at some of Beaver's women and pics  from Bucharest... oh, you horny little thing you :)) (due to the fact that i can't update any more pics here on the bog, i'm giving you the link to the site where you can see it all :)) )     http://www.hi5.com/friend/photos/displayPhotoUser.do?ownerId=13429077&artistType=&photoFuid=00606694810300ObK253669481

 

why is marijuana not legal??

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? 
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt. 
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it. 
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy. 

The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees. 
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east. 
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?"

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time. 
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? 
Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru. 
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large. 
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
"You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day. 
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.

                            Lazyboy -  The underwear goes inside the pants